On the Grapevine

Homily at Our Lady of the Valleys for the 5th Sunday of Easter, Year B

About two years before she finally passed, my grandmother was taken into hospital. It was a difficult time for me and my family – we thought we were going to lose her. Fortunately, she recovered her strength and came home, but it could have gone either way. It made me very conscious of the things I did want to say to her before it was too late. But there was a problem – Nanna had become profoundly deaf, and it was impossible to have a conversation with her. So I did the only thing I could do. I wrote her a letter. On one side, I wrote about my own decision to become a Catholic and why it mattered to me. On the other side, I spoke about how grateful I was for all the things she had done for me – cooking the family meals when I was a child, and knitting the brightly-coloured pullovers which I loved wearing wherever I went. I told her how proud I was, that she was my Nan, and that I loved her.

I’m glad I did that when I did. A few years later, when Nanna was taken into hospital again and didn’t come out, I had the comfort of knowing I had no unfinished business. Mum told me that Nanna had kept that letter in her handbag and it had been unfolded and refolded many times.

“My children, our love is not to be just words or mere talk, but something real and active.” With these words, St John reminds us that love is at the heart of our Christian faith – and not just love, but love-in-action. There are many kinds of love, including charity towards strangers, but today I invite us to focus on the way we show love within our closer relationships.

Who among us has not felt lonely at times?

Who among us has not wished for a token of love from someone we care about?

And yet, although our hearts are crying out to be loved, we are afraid to communicate the love that we feel, to others.

We may be afraid of rejection.

We may be afraid of being carried away by our stronger urges.

We may be afraid of our best intentions backfiring.

To be sure, love can go wrong. I once shared a house with a man who had a bad temper. We weren’t getting along very well, so I decided to make a peace-offering. He loved eating melon for breakfast, so when he went away for a week’s holiday, I made sure there was fresh melon in the fridge for his return. This did not have the desired effect. My gift was rewarded with a small explosion of anger – “That’s not the sort of melon I like, but now I have to eat it!” Truly, no good deed goes unpunished!

But do I regret what I did? Not at all. At the end of time, when all things will be made clear, he will understand that my gesture was meant as a peace offering and an act of love – and I will finally understand the pressures he was under at the time.

Showing love is always risky. Yes, we make ourselves vulnerable to rejection. Yes, we must guard ourselves against doing more than is appropriate in a particular relationship where our passions run high. But plainly and simply, Our Lord commanded us to love one another. The Greek word He used, agape, especially includes pouring out our strength for the good of others, seeking no return. If we give food to the Foodbank or send a donation to Sudan, we have shown the highest form of love. But only within our closest relationships can we touch the heart of another in a way which brings lasting joy. Our motives will always be mixed – even Pope Benedict XVI commented that it was impossible to totally separate selfless agape from our own desires to love and be loved – but that’s OK, because it’s human.

Every parish is also called to be a community of love. After Mass today, we have the opportunity to stay for a cup of tea or coffee. I know that some of us may have to leave quickly because of bus times or family duties. But to the rest of us, I ask this: are you planning to stay for a cuppa today? When we take time to talk to one another in this parish, we make our grapevine strong. But if we run away from opportunities to connect, we make our parish weak. God is looking for fruit – and one fruit is the strength of our relationship with one another.

Maybe it feels awkward to start a conversation with someone you don’t know. But I’m going to invite us to do that right now. Look for the nearest person who isn’t part of your household. I’d like you to turn to them right now, find out their name if you don’t know it, and invite them to have a cuppa with you after Mass. If you can’t stay today, arrange a weekend when you can!

We are called to love our neighbour – which you’ve literally just done. We also have important connections in our lives with absent friends. Is there someone who is fond of you, who would be touched to receive a phone call, a card, or a visit – someone you’re always meaning to contact but never quite get round to? No-one else can affirm them in quite the way you can. So do something this weekend, don’t delay!

Show love, because your love is real.

Show love, because the person you love needs a reminder that they are loved.

Show love, because God asks us to.

Show love.

Perfect Alignment?

Homily at Our Lady of the Valleys for the 4th Sunday of Easter, Year B.

“The Lord is my shepherd.” These are easy words to say, or even to sing – but are they true?

We’re all shepherded by multiple and competing forces. Some of them are very deliberately trying to influence our actions – so much so that in the world of social media we talk about “influencers”! So what’s influencing you? Do you find yourself imitating certain celebrities who seem popular? Have you downloaded the new Taylor Swift album yet? Or are you more a follower of fashion – if the people around you have adopted something, will you want to wear that too?

“The stone which the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.”

A cornerstone is the first stone laid for a new building. It has to be set carefully because the new walls will extend from it in different directions. It’s not to be confused with the ‘foundation stone’ which might have an inscription and is usually set a little higher in the wall; nor with the capstone, which gives a smooth finish to a wall; nor with the keystone, which holds an arch in place. Our reading from Acts today called Jesus the ‘keystone’ but the original Greek says Jesus is the ‘head of the corner’ which most Bibles translate as ‘cornerstone’.

Whether as our shepherd or as our cornerstone, Jesus seeks to guide our thinking and our acting. And how will we know we are following Him? We will know because we will find ourselves out of step with the world around us. We live in a world which does not accept that Jesus is Lord, and so does not accept the values he taught.

It’s hard to put Jesus in a box. What he taught is neither ‘on the left’ nor ‘on the right’.

A few years ago, sociologists in America made a survey to see how Christians felt Jesus matched up with their own politics.

As you might expect, Christians who support right-wing parties reluctantly acknowledged that Jesus would be more generous on taxing rich people to help the poor and welcoming illegal migrants – but they thought he’d be even stricter than themselves on issues like restricting abortion and same-sex marriage.

The mirror image was also true: Christians who support left-leaning parties admitted that they probably took a softer line than Jesus on these morality issues. But they also thought Jesus would be even more lavish than themselves on redistributing wealth and welcoming immigrants.

And of course, the Christians on the right thought that the morality issues were more important, while those on the left thought the social justice issues mattered more.

The lesson for us is that we are free to have our own opinions on whatever we like, but we cannot claim that the Lord is our Shepherd or that Christ is our Cornerstone unless we make it our business to find out what Jesus taught and set aside our own views when they come into conflict with His.

The American Bishop, Robert Barron, has a great idea which we can use when we find ourselves in conflict with another viewpoint. That might be when we’re arguing with ourself in our internal dialogue, or having a private conversation with a friend – and it’s especially important when we go into the great public world of the Internet and start arguing on social media. Bishop Barron’s idea is called ‘steel-manning’.

It’s the opposite of a straw-man argument. One of the dirty tricks we can pull when debating is to set up a weak or flawed version of what our opponents teach, and then use the flaws to knock it down. But that’s not very respectful, either of  the dignity of our rivals or of truth itself. No, says Bishop Barron, set up a steel-man. That is, set out the strongest possible case for why the opposite position should be taken seriously. This both shows respect for your opponents, and allows you to make the strongest possible case for your own point of view. Of course, you might discover that you need to shift your ground when you do. And that’s OK.

In the same way, the survey warns us that we are likely to hold a picture of Jesus who is committed to what we’re committed to, but more so. If we’re examining a point of view it never hurts to go back to read the Gospels and consult the Catechism of the Catholic Church to make sure that we’re remembering fairly.

One of the things I love about the Catholic Faith is that it doesn’t always set out an exact answer about everything. Do we have to believe that God made the world in six days? No, but we’re not committed to believe the Big Bang theory either. How exactly can Jesus be God and Man at the same time? It can be expressed different ways, and as long as we don’t go so far as to say “he wasn’t really God” or “he wasn’t really human” we won’t be accused of heresy. We can hold different views about how far the state should go in paying benefits or restricting migration and still be followers of Jesus in good conscience. He is the cornerstone, and any cornerstone will have walls branching off in three different directions. But there are limits, and if we find ourselves beyond the boundary of what is taught by Our Lord or the Catholic Church, we might just have to swallow our pride and shift our position.

Don’t let the wolf win. The wolf – the Enemy – the deceiver we know as Satan – uses lies and pride to keep us from being in perfect alignment with Jesus. If I’m in the wrong place, the Good Shepherd loves me enough to come to find me. He might even love me enough to cause a priest to preach a sermon to show me I’m out of line and make me think again! The Lord is my shepherd? He will be, if I align myself to him.

This Is The Day

Homily at Our Lady of the Valleys for the 3rd Sunday of Easter, Year B.

Today is the day when everything changes.

St Peter has chosen an unpromising approach for his preaching. “You killed Jesus. That was a bad move, since he was God’s Son. Good news – he didn’t stay dead. Better news – he’s willing to pardon you for killing him. Now will you join our church?”

I wonder how many of the listeners had been in that crowd which shouted “Crucify him?” And how many, the week before, had also cried “Hosanna to the Son of David”? St Peter’s tactics were surprisingly successful – many in the crowd did repent, and we read in Acts 4 that the Church grew to about 5000 people! But perhaps that’s what happens when dozens of people say they’ve seen a dead man now alive!

Maybe you’re holding on to a sin which feels as terrible as crucifying the Son of God. Perhaps there’s an abortion in your past, or a broken relationship, or a terrible insult given. We’re still in the days close to Divine Mercy Sunday when Christ’s promise offers us not just forgiveness but the total pardon of the Purgatory attached to your sin. If thousands of people who shouted “Crucify Him” can repent and ask for mercy, you can too. So perhaps for you,

Today is the day when everything changes.

St John’s letter was written to Christian believers who, like us, came together to worship each week. Yet simply coming to church doesn’t automatically make us change our way of life. John felt it was important to write that we should start keeping God’s commandments and stop sinning. I wonder if there’s something in your life which needs to be addressed? Maybe there’s something you’ve decided doesn’t count as a sin, because it would be too difficult to change? Maybe there’s something the Catholic Church teaches, but you’re not sure if Jesus really expects us to live that way?

Our church doesn’t teach what she teaches to make our lives needlessly difficult. She only teaches what she believes Jesus wants us to do. If there’s a teaching you’re struggling to understand, there are plenty of good podcasts and videos out there on the internet. Or you could even book a conversation with your parish priest! If there’s a topic you’ve been avoiding until now, maybe…

Today is the day when everything changes.

The disciples were there in the Upper Room trying to make sense of what had happened in the last week. They thought Jesus was going to start a revolution and become King of Jerusalem. Then they’d seen him arrested in front of their eyes.

Most had not had the courage to stand at the foot of the Cross, but in their grief and their guilt, they were now trying to make sense of these reports that people had seen Jesus, alive. And now, here he was, standing in front of them.

Not a ghost – definitely not a ghost. A living body, eating fish, with wounds still present in his hands and his feet. But not the King they were expecting, either. Until now they had thought they were heralds of a new independent Israel. But this is the day when they started to understand their true calling – heralds of heaven, sent to the ends of the earth.

Believe in the Name of Jesus. Stop breaking God’s Law. Say sorry, and mean it. Do these things and it doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past – you have a place in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Today is the day when everything changes.

“Repentance” is a clumsy attempt to put into English a word which means a total change of life. So I ask you, are you living a changed life?

Maybe you’ve made changes as an adult. Or maybe the changes were made by your family and you’ve grown up living a changed life. So what kind of change am I talking about? Let me put it like this. If I visited you at home, how would I know you were a follower of Jesus?

Would I find you saying grace before meals or family prayers before bedtime?

Would I find you avoiding the coarse language of the world around us?

Would I find you choosing things to watch on television which are uplifting and not steeped in too much gratuitous sex or violence?

Would I find you making time to do family things together, away from the distracting devices of our age?

Would I find you taking time to volunteer for good causes in the community, or even for tasks that need to be done to keep this parish running?

Every saint has a chequered past. But every sinner who responds to Jesus Christ has a glorious future. Today is not about the faults that we have left behind us. Today is about the future which is set before us. If you’ve already reached that point in your life where you asked Jesus “What would you like me to do?” and you’re doing it to the best of your ability – thank you! Keep it up. But if my words today are challenging you to repent of some sin or take on some new good deed, you know what you need to do.   Today is the day when everything changes. Today is the day Jesus will make you a saint.

Guilt or Shame?

Homily at Our Lady of the Valleys for Divine Mercy Sunday, 2024.

“If you love me,” says the Lord, “you will keep my commandments.”

I wonder how many of us here today have ever suffered from Catholic Guilt?

Today, I have a special offer for you. How would you like to trade in your guilt for a well-formed conscience?

The thing is, sometimes we feel guilty for the wrong reasons. So we need to learn to examine our conscience properly.

Let’s take one classic example – missing Sunday Mass. How many of you here were taught that it’s a mortal sin to miss Mass on a weekend?

Almost correct. But also very wrong. We need to add two crucial words. It’s a mortal sin to freely choose to skip Sunday Mass. The sin is in the choosing, not the missing.

If you’re ill in bed, you’ve got no choice. If the weather is dangerous, you’ve got no choice. And where there is no choice, there is no sin. You might still feel bad that you didn’t make it to Mass. But that’s false guilt. It’s actually a healthy sign that you want to be worshipping God at Mass. On days like that, say some prayers at home and make an act of spiritual communion, and heaven will smile down on you.

What if you have to work on the weekend? If it’s a vocation caring for the needs of others, do that on Sundays with a clear conscience. But what if it’s just a job to make money? Employers should make reasonable adjustments to accommodate religious practice. It might be a sin to chicken out of having that conversation with your boss to see what’s possible. That’s a way of witnessing to your faith. But if flexibility’s not possible and you have to earn a living, so be it. You’ve tried.

Let’s take another example. What if someone asks a big favour, which is going to cost you in time or in money? Does Our Lord ask us to be bottomless pits of generosity? We read Scriptures like the one about how the first Christians looked after everyone’s needs and might feel inadequate. Is it a sin to say ‘no’ when someone asks for help? Here it’s a question of balance. We should eat into our own comfort zone to meet the needs of others. Jesus suggests that if we have two coats we should give one away to a person who has no coat at all. But God loves a cheerful giver – and what we can’t give cheerfully we can’t give sustainably.

You might remember that scene in the movie, Schindler’s List. Businessman Oskar Schindler had already liquidated his personal fortunate to buy the freedom of hundreds of Polish Jews. When it was time for him to make his own escape, he suddenly realised that he had a gold tooth which could have bought freedom for three or four more. But the good he had done far outweighed the good he had failed to do. It is the tender-hearted who agonise most about this.

A badly formed conscience is a problem, because it leads us to expect dreadful punishments for failing to achieve the impossible. God does not expect us to achieve the impossible. And as long as we are willing to choose the good which is possible, Jesus wishes to comfort us, reassure us, and bring us his peace. Now, even the first Apostles needed to be assured of his peace. What does he say to them in the Upper Room? “Peace be with you.”

Now those guys really had sinned. Peter, James and John had failed to keep awake and pray for an hour in the Garden of Gethsemane. Peter had denied him. All except John had abandoned him at the foot of the Cross. Yes, Jesus looks for loyalty. But he is ready to forgive them all and offer them a new beginning. Their sense of guilt and shame when they meet the Risen Lord is punishment enough. Now, like the author of today’s psalm, they can truly say: “I was punished by the Lord, but not doomed to die; the Lord’s right hand has raised me up.”

Jesus knows we suffer not only from guilt, but also shame. True guilt is the knowledge that I have freely made a wrong choice. Shame is not about what I’ve done but about who I am – a person with a vulnerability to a particular sin. Shame says: “I’m the kind of person who eats too much chocolate – drinks too much beer – raises my voice to the children when I’m angry. God could never love me.”

Think again.

God loved the world so much that Jesus died on the Cross to take our sins away.

God loved the world so much that a hundred years ago, he sent Christ to appear on earth again in the form of Divine Mercy, with the message that any soul who confesses their sin on the Sunday after Easter would be pardoned not only the guilt – as happens with every confession – but even the punishment for sin we would otherwise have to work through in Purgatory.

We are not called to be bottomless pits of giving. But in the message of Divine Mercy, Our Lord did reveal the grace won through the Cross to be an abyss of mercy.

If you’re suffering from false guilt, rejoice in the knowledge that God does not ask the impossible. God does call us to be generous with the loaves and fishes that we do have, but no more than that. God does ask us to be chaste, enjoying sexual intimacy only in relationships sealed by Holy Matrimony. Above all, God does ask us to love our enemies and forgive those who have offended us. Do these things, and you are a long way towards avoiding cause for guilt.

If you’re suffering from true guilt, repent. Choose to live your life God’s way. And rejoice in the invitation to confess your sin today, of all days, and so have not only the guilt, but even the punishment, forgiven. Jesus, I trust in you.