Homily at Our Lady of the Valleys for the 5th Sunday of Easter, Year B
About two years before she finally passed, my grandmother was taken into hospital. It was a difficult time for me and my family – we thought we were going to lose her. Fortunately, she recovered her strength and came home, but it could have gone either way. It made me very conscious of the things I did want to say to her before it was too late. But there was a problem – Nanna had become profoundly deaf, and it was impossible to have a conversation with her. So I did the only thing I could do. I wrote her a letter. On one side, I wrote about my own decision to become a Catholic and why it mattered to me. On the other side, I spoke about how grateful I was for all the things she had done for me – cooking the family meals when I was a child, and knitting the brightly-coloured pullovers which I loved wearing wherever I went. I told her how proud I was, that she was my Nan, and that I loved her.
I’m glad I did that when I did. A few years later, when Nanna was taken into hospital again and didn’t come out, I had the comfort of knowing I had no unfinished business. Mum told me that Nanna had kept that letter in her handbag and it had been unfolded and refolded many times.
“My children, our love is not to be just words or mere talk, but something real and active.” With these words, St John reminds us that love is at the heart of our Christian faith – and not just love, but love-in-action. There are many kinds of love, including charity towards strangers, but today I invite us to focus on the way we show love within our closer relationships.
Who among us has not felt lonely at times?
Who among us has not wished for a token of love from someone we care about?
And yet, although our hearts are crying out to be loved, we are afraid to communicate the love that we feel, to others.
We may be afraid of rejection.
We may be afraid of being carried away by our stronger urges.
We may be afraid of our best intentions backfiring.
To be sure, love can go wrong. I once shared a house with a man who had a bad temper. We weren’t getting along very well, so I decided to make a peace-offering. He loved eating melon for breakfast, so when he went away for a week’s holiday, I made sure there was fresh melon in the fridge for his return. This did not have the desired effect. My gift was rewarded with a small explosion of anger – “That’s not the sort of melon I like, but now I have to eat it!” Truly, no good deed goes unpunished!
But do I regret what I did? Not at all. At the end of time, when all things will be made clear, he will understand that my gesture was meant as a peace offering and an act of love – and I will finally understand the pressures he was under at the time.
Showing love is always risky. Yes, we make ourselves vulnerable to rejection. Yes, we must guard ourselves against doing more than is appropriate in a particular relationship where our passions run high. But plainly and simply, Our Lord commanded us to love one another. The Greek word He used, agape, especially includes pouring out our strength for the good of others, seeking no return. If we give food to the Foodbank or send a donation to Sudan, we have shown the highest form of love. But only within our closest relationships can we touch the heart of another in a way which brings lasting joy. Our motives will always be mixed – even Pope Benedict XVI commented that it was impossible to totally separate selfless agape from our own desires to love and be loved – but that’s OK, because it’s human.
Every parish is also called to be a community of love. After Mass today, we have the opportunity to stay for a cup of tea or coffee. I know that some of us may have to leave quickly because of bus times or family duties. But to the rest of us, I ask this: are you planning to stay for a cuppa today? When we take time to talk to one another in this parish, we make our grapevine strong. But if we run away from opportunities to connect, we make our parish weak. God is looking for fruit – and one fruit is the strength of our relationship with one another.
Maybe it feels awkward to start a conversation with someone you don’t know. But I’m going to invite us to do that right now. Look for the nearest person who isn’t part of your household. I’d like you to turn to them right now, find out their name if you don’t know it, and invite them to have a cuppa with you after Mass. If you can’t stay today, arrange a weekend when you can!
We are called to love our neighbour – which you’ve literally just done. We also have important connections in our lives with absent friends. Is there someone who is fond of you, who would be touched to receive a phone call, a card, or a visit – someone you’re always meaning to contact but never quite get round to? No-one else can affirm them in quite the way you can. So do something this weekend, don’t delay!
Show love, because your love is real.
Show love, because the person you love needs a reminder that they are loved.
Show love, because God asks us to.
Show love.
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